The 1987 SCV Tenor Line Tray Incident
Preseason Chaos on Memorial Day Weekend
Once upon a time on the 1987 Memorial Day Weekend, the Santa Clara Vanguard held a rehearsal camp at a high school.
And that year, we had an awesome tenor line, six super-talented dudes who could pretty much play anything at any time, perfectly clean. Irl, Dave, Brett, Eddie, Dr. Love and Ron. Here is their official photo from SCV Photo Day.
The problem with this super-talented group of guys was that sometimes, truth be told, they could be a little difficult and arrogant. We were brothers, and they were the best tenor line I had ever seen, to date -- but they loved being in the Vanguard, and all six of them knew how good they were.
So, back to the Memorial Day camp. After lunch on Saturday, our too-cool-for-words tenor line hung out on their sleeping bags in the gym, with their lunch trays and garbage scattered around them, on the floor. This wasn't a good look for our corps, but our rock star tenor line didn't care. They thought it was funny. And not only that, these cats were in a belligerent mood, giving me a hard time for being "uptight" and from the East Coast, when I suggested they should clean up their spot in the gym. Technically, I was being openly mocked by my pals.
Enter percussion caption head Ralph Hardimon. Ralph walked across the gym and spotted the mess. Of course, he walked over and told the tenors in no uncertain terms to "clean this shit up."
The tenors half-laughed it off, then came Ralph's warning. "I'm telling you guys, this better be cleaned up before you get on the bus to go to the field for rehearsal."
Ralph left the gym.
The tenor line had a few more laughs, then I watched them clean up their area of the gym, carefully removing every tray and piece of garbage there was, as to not cross Ralph. Then they went to the bus, mocking me as they left.
"See," Dave Gary said. "There was nothing to worry about. Why are people from the East Coast always so uptight?" They laughed at me as they left the gym.
When everyone had left the gym, I had an idea
An evil idea, as it were.
I took my lunch tray and instead of throwing things out, I put my tray on Dave Gary's pillow. I then spread the remnants of my lunch all around his sleeping bag as if it were a yard sale for half-eaten food and garbage.
Then I got three more trays full of garbage, and strategically placed said trays and garbage all around the tenor's area of the gym. Basically, I made the area 10x as dirty and filled with garbage as it was when the tenor line was eating lunch.
Then I got my drumsticks and sunscreen, and went to the bus.
Ta-da.
Faaaaaaaaast forward, we're all sitting in the bus waiting and waiting and waiting to leave for the practice field, which is about a mile away. We're going to be late for ensemble rehearsal. That's weird, I thought.
Suddenly, Ralph came flying out of the gym, looking angrier than I had ever seen him. Uh-oh. And he was headed right for our bus. Holy crap.
Having dutifully cleaned up their area of the gym, the tenor line thought nothing of it.
Then Ralph jumped on the drum bus and started yelling at the tenor line about the mess in the gym.
The tenor line was totally confused, of course, and they tried to tell Ralph they did clean up. Of course, they didn't know about the strategic contribution of garbage I made on their behalf, and all 6 of them started to get chippy and pissed off for being yelled in front of the whole bus for no reason.
Having just seen the gym catastrophe, Ralph would have none of the protests of innocence. The argument lasted 30 more seconds until it appeared that Ralph might actually murder the SCV tenor line if the situation was not resolved. Things went from being really funny to scary. Thoughts raced through my head. What the [bleep] am I going to do if the situation goes nuclear, if a physical confrontation breaks out between the SCV staff and tenor line over the lunch garbage? Should I admit what happened? Then what? Do I have to karate fight Ralph? Do I have to fight the entire tenor line? The tenor line and Ralph? Should I take up guitar instead? Should I call George Hopkins and try to get back into the Cadets? Do Crossmen have an opening? WTF do I do? ...
I was seriously worried, if not scared about what was going to happen. So I stayed quiet, in the back of the bus, a mere spectator to the very chaotic and extreme incident that I had accidentally created. Well, maybe not accidentally.
In any case, Ralph ordered the tenor line to get off the bus and clean up the gym.
Which did not go over well.
Knowing that they already, in fact, cleaned up the gym, the six antagonized tenor players ran back into the gym to find the East Coast surprise that I had in store for them. Which was the hilarious part. With no idea what had just happened, a very confused and angry SCV tenor line walked back to the bus and we went to rehearsal.
When we got to the school, Ralph was waiting behind a chain link fence as our bus pulled up. He was obviously still very mad at what he thought was our tenor line's open defiance.
Ralph yelled at the tenors as they got off the bus.
Then Irl looked up and said, “Relax, Ralph. Please.”
Which were the wrong words to utter. Irl’s attempt at social niceties put Ralph into a rage and he kicked the fence in a rage over and over and over while threatening the tenors. We were stunned by the outburst. I snuck away, and somehow, things eventually settled down, and we got back to rehearsal and creating a great and happy drum corps until the last day.
p.s. I waited nearly three decades to publicly tell this story, with one exception -- I told Dave Gary in 2003, and he laughed for 15 minutes.
hehe
Thanks for reading!
Lee
